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December 12th, 2017

Time, is on my side

It’s been an exciting year filled with many memories, lot’s of laughter, plenty of tears and lessons learned.

My 2017 is going out with quite a bang! as I write this from my bed where I have spent the last 11 days recovering from a Hysterectomy on December 1st. Prior to that I had been on medical leave from work to address some issues with my autoimmune disease. As it turned out, one of the major pain issues I was experiencing required the hysterectomy and so here I am.

I’m feeling fairly well over all, but looking forward to getting up and out this weekend. I NEED to find a new vehicle!! My car was totaled by a tree in a big storm that passed through here on October 30th. I’ve decided to go minivan, but still up in the air on the one I will get ….  my rental was a Dodge Grand Caravan, so I am most comfortable with that; however I am tempted by the Toyota Sierra with AWD for days like today when the snow makes getting around a little more challenging.

In my time with myself recovering from surgery, I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching, watching lots of Netflix and working on my little DotDotSmile business. I’m looking forward to Christmas (and getting our decorations up! … one thing that didn’t get done beforehand). Christmas day the kids and I will be flying down to visit my family in South Carolina. I’ve been looking forward to it since my Dad & Step-mom moved down a few months ago.

Next week I will begin packing us up, so I can pick up whatever I am probably forgetting we will need. I’m hoping the kids enjoy the travel (and behave!). We’ll be traveling fairly late in the day, so the plan is to strap them both in the stroller for the extent of our time in the airports. Fingers Crossed!

Anyone have any great travel tips!?

Hopefully, I’ll be visiting again soon … but if not, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year!

August 30th, 2016

Bucket List

I don’t think I’ve ever officially created a bucket list for my life.

If I had, motherhood probably wasn’t up there and chances of getting to any of them now are probably slim to none.

I’ve always imagined myself jumping out of an airplane. DC told me to lose that dream when I was pregnant with O. “You can’t do anything that could get you killed now that you’re gonna have a kid” he said.

Made sense at the time and even more so now that we have A.

I suppose, though, I could come up with a few items to put on a list. A short list. Nothing compared to what I may have compiled in my 20s or even 30s.

Here we go …

1. I’m going to eat a meal. With my family. All at the same time. In the same general location. When no one is crying,  or throwing food, or being particularly disruptive.

2. Sleep in. I imagine a morning filled with sunshine. The birds are chirping outside in the distance. A gentle breeze blowing in through my window. My bed is as soft as a cloud and I have no place to be. No one jumping on me or screaming for milk or cartoons.

I’m not woken and immediately thrust into mediation of a fight over who gets to be next to mommy.

3. Girls weekend. It’s been so long I fear they are lost and gone forever. Just 48-72 hours away with my broads onfe a year for the rest of myour life. No major agendas, no pants, maybe some room service and some reality TV. A spa, fancy dinner out … with drinks … maybe even some dancing! ! Or, maybe just some more TV.

I’ll have to work on this, but I think I have a pretty good list here. Achievable. Who knows, maybe I’ll add more as I knock these off the list !

August 23rd, 2016

Russian Roulette: Dining out with Toddlers 

It was a busy day at work today and I’d barely got stared on a presentation due Thursday when I found myself needing to step away. Far, far away. My butt was asleep and my stomach was so empty the rumbling was echoing! 

Even if I’d had something to throw together I just wasn’t cooking and cleaning tonight, besides we just had chicken nuggets last night … and the night before. 

So we load up the car and head to Friendly’s, even though O had made things clear he wasn’t having any of it. He wanted Happy Burgers and a toy prize, screw you and your happy ending sundaes! 

It was fairly quiet, until we showed up. By the looks of the parking lot the place should have been packed. Better for us, and for anyone else in there expecting an enjoyable meal out, that it was slow. 

From the moment I sat down I realized O was holding true to his earlier proclamation and despite picking out a burger, waffle fries AND a hot dog – he had no intention of eating. 

Time slows to a crawl and I can’t finish fast enough. All while trying to convince him to have a bite. Immune to my bribes and threats to give his meal to his sister he mocks me, floping around in his seat like he’s got ants in his pants. 

He does this thing whenever we eat next to each other where he leans into and pushes on me so much that it exceeds my touch quota almost instantly and I spend the entire meal annoyed and on a very fragile edge of totally losing my shit. 

This was one of those nights. 

No one told me that parenting would include endless hours trying to get your kid to eat two bites in exchange for ice cream! TWO BITES! Far from unreasonable. I’m not talking about  lima beans and liver here, these are your favorite foods! Your favorite foods AND ice cream!! 

Did I mention the ice cream! ? 

We finally got a half a hot dog in him and I give the signal to the waitress to make with the happy ending … I can see the finish line! We’re going to be okay!

Then … he chokes! A cherry stuck in his throat, he’s ok, but it’s stuck. He gags …he coughs … he gags some more … then he pukes! 

I’m defeated. 

Next time we’ll skip all the baloney and skip straight to the ice cream – hold the cherries. 

August 13th, 2016

A day in the life 

DC and I are currently laying in bed on our phones, O is in a bed next to me on his tablet having some pre-nap quiet time and A’s in a pack ‘n play pissy about the whole situation. 

We just got back to camp from a family gathering down the road that we had to abruptly exit due to an epic situation, which began just about the time DC and I sat down to eat.

It was raining, another well timed occurrence with the BBQ, so quarters were full. We found seats by each other, but we were right in the line of foot traffic with two toddlers that can’t get out of their own ways. I think DC compared them to pinball at one point. 

No sooner had we had our last bite when they both began the complete meltdown.  And we needed to leave. In the rain. And had walked there … but we ended up getting a ride back, so there’s a win. 

Now, O lays snoring logs. He dozed off just after the battery warning went off. He’s a good napper.

A just finished another protest. We think this might be it, so I’m signing off in hopes of a few rainy midday Zzzzs at camp myself 🙂


August 7th, 2016

Awareness day

​I’ve seen multiple posts in my facebook feed related to Multiple Sclerosis awareness this weekend, which is wonderful and hopefully helps those living with it and to educate others who know someone effected, but may not fully understand the impacts of it. 

I recently posted about my own struggle with autoimmune disease and while I may not look sick or in pain it’s a huge impact on my life as well as so many others. 

I’m guilty of not taking this condition seriously in the past. Blaming my age, weight, even motherood for not being able to keep up with life. The exhaustion alone is enough to keep anyone in bed all day. 

Unfortunately, I don’t have that option. My kids don’t understand, most days I don’t think DC even understands, so it’s my job to raise awareness here in our little bubble of the world. 

Unfortunately, unless you are directly effected by an immune disease, I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand what living with it is like. Sadly, even doctors stuggle, in my experience, to treat the various ailments because no two people are identical and therefore no two treatments are the same. 

Sometimes the disease goes undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed. If you’re lucky you get a plan of treatment that helps straight away, otherwise it could be years of trial and error … something I’ve come to know too well. 

And don’t get me started on the Insurance company … I’m extremely fortunate to have a good insurance plan, but even so they dictate the order in which medication can be covered, which might be fine if this were a cookie cutter disease. 

Best part? The implications of stress. So dealing with Doctors and Insurance, for me often adds to my pain and causes flair ups. 

I’m not trying to go on a pity party picnic here, just hoping to help bring it all into perspective. So, be aware, but first and foremost be compassionate and understanding with those of us who suffer in silence, because the last thing we want is to be defined by our disease.