I have a confession. When it comes to my personal life, I’m totally irresponsible. I have been for years. I openly admit it here and now. I don’t have any good excuse although I will easily ramble off a list about not enough time or I was too busy with that, then I forgot.
While I was married I often took the lead in being responsible for things getting done, big things that is, like finding places to live, paying rent and bills, filing taxes. That is of course till I became extremely unhappy with my situation. I guess that is about the time when my irresponsibility kicked in. I stopped giving a shit about most everything in my personal life and eventually it all went to hell.
In my career I am focused, driven and dedicated …. some may say I am too dedicated. I take on way too much, I work late and I tend to (or at least try) to go above and beyond in most everything I do. Before taking time off for vacation I will work endless hours to make sure everything is taken care of. I have some control issues as well, which I suppose contribute to me keeping tasks I could very well delegate to others.
If something needs fixing, a process needs improving, a document needs writing, a client needs assistance … I do it. I take action on it. I take on the responsibility.
So why is it I have such trouble applying this, which should just come naturally given my nature, to my own personal life?
Procrastination is a trait I believe I inherited. Just look around my apartment and you’ll see half a dozen things which could have easily been taken care of … bags of clothing donated goodwill, boxes of new dishes put away in cabinets, storage bins lugged down to the basement. In my mind what’s the rush? I’ll get to it in my own time.
I keep a running to-do list of very important things I need to do. Items which not only affect me financially, but which I feel also keep me from being “relationship worthy”. I never make time to get to them and for no good reason. So when my father questioned me about many items on the list this past weekend…well, I realized I needed to stop putting them off and take action!
Nearly 3 hours on the phone for miscellaneous reasons and so much was accomplished, including one very big burden has been lifted from me! I was able to obtain financial assistance for my monthly medication, which I found out in Nov. was going to cost me over $1600 out of pocket for my1st prescription in the new year when all my deductibles reset and an additional $180 a month after that. WOW…. and why didn’t I take care of this sooner?
I guess all I needed was a little push.
Thanks Dad! <3
