Last September my broads & I traveled to Ontario, CA for our first Podcast Expo. It was an interesting experience. I’m not sure any of us really knew what was in store – tech talks, parties, lots and lots of booze. We were still new to the game with about 8 shows produced at that time. We got to meet a lot of Podcasters and podconsumers. I left wishing there had been more time and I regretted not venturing off from the ”NLO” clique I had attached myself to. It’s quite a challenge to spread yourself out at such events as everyone kinda breaks off into groups all with different agendas. You want to spend as much real time with those who are, for most of the year, only virtual friends.
Well for some crazy reason we’ve decided to take the trip back this year for the 3rd Annual PME and on top of that we are planning to drive to Vegas for a few additional days of fun (aka SIN) on the West Sid!!. Anyone wanna join us??
Now usually *I* assume the role of cruise director, but I received the following itinerary from my co-host, Kinky-Kathy (there…are you happy? Here is your damned mention Kat! 
). It took me about 20 minutes to read the whole thing as I was literally crying it made me laugh so hard!. I decided I just had to post in in my “diary”. I’m pretty sure she has pegged the events quite accurately, so we’ll come back to this in October and see how her predictions held up….
Day 1: Arrive in Ontario, California. Thur
Drive through In and Out Burger for a lite lunch. Skip the fries, but get two shakes (different flavors). Kinky-Kathy begins to recover from Jet Lag. Diva begins to meet her adoring fans and starts her 72 hours without sleep.
That evening, Party “Lite” in preparation for big party on Friday evening. Coat stomach with hard liquors and watch reality TV.
Day 2: Fri
Breakfast at the In & Out Burger. Mani/Pedi for Diva, Lyn, and Kathy. Visit Kmart in Ontario for new lipstick shade. Eat dinner at Mexican restaurant and regret doing so immediately afterwards.
That evening: Party like its 1998. There are empty bottles of Five Rivers, bumper stickers, ass shots, naked body painting, a regrettable tattoo (the Grateful Dead bear was SOOO 1995) and a guy named “Hal”. Fight over who sleeps on air mattress. Smoke lots of cigarettes, puke, and keep right on going.
Note to self: bring disposable camera to confuse high tech podcasters – enjoy looks of puzzlement
Day 3: Sat
Recover from major hangover. Fill Diva in on what she can’t remember. Apologize to Lyn for Kathy and Diva’s snoring. Swear never to drink wine from Trader Joe’s again. Rise at 3pm. Hit In & Out Burger when stomach allows. Visit the actual EXPO thing, which time has not permitted venturing near until now.
Saturday evening: Party Medium. Rediscover Alcohol poisoning. Meet guy name “Bud”. More bumper stickers.
Day 4: Sun – Travel to VEGAS
Check out of hotel, and grab In & Out Burger for the road. Hook up Uhaul to accommodate Diva’s baggage. Remember to get car insurance. Travel to Vegas – pray for no traffic!
VEGAS: Pick up Miss Scandalous at airport. Load luggage into the Uhaul, and check into the hotel. Drag Kathy from nearest slot machine. Slap her when she bites you because she doesn’t want to go. Remember to take credit cards from Kathy
Evening: Dinner at nearest buffet, as treat for month’s of dieting. Scout out Vegas In & Out Burger. Party with “adult” drinks like Cosmo’s and Martinis. Find strip club.
Day 5: Monday
Rise at 5PM. Eat breakfast. Get ready to go out for the dinner. Decide to go on celebrity sighting tour. Head to Rio and various night clubs. Knock on door of real world suite. Offer Diva’s boobs as prize for a “looksy” around the place. Drink lots and lots. Accidentally get hitched to guy named “Stan” through Drive Up Chapel. To your surprise, realize that he does look cuter in the morning!
Collect Kathy from Price is Right Slot Machine (MGM Grand) where you left her night before. Remember not to do this again.
Day 6: Tuesday
Rise at 12:00. Kelly and Kathy watch “I Love NY”on VH1 series, blessing their winnings from the WSOPC. See Vegas show under premise of being “cultural”. Fall asleep. Back to hotel, and get ready for another exciting evening of Vegas fun. There are tigers, a piercing for Miss Scandalous, and more bumper stickers. Some photos make it to the Internet. Remember to change names when arrive at home.
Day 7: Wednesday
Begin to pack for flight home. Turn in Uhaul and Caddy car rental at Hertz. Get to Vegas airport REALLY early to enjoy slot machines. Remember, that what happens in Vegas, will eventually end up on FLICKR.
Feel free to add your predictions and suggestions in the comments section. Listen to The-Broad-Cast podcast – Episode 18 for details about our upcoming Shot, Slots & Sluts fund/competition!
