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‘Digitally Dating’

June 26th, 2012

Perfectly Perfect

It’s been one unexpectedly amazing month since meeting DC face to face for the first time and I am still gloating!

Initially we had happened upon each other through comments on a mutual Facebook friend’s photo. Neither of us suspected any attraction from the other and we carried on a very nonchalant friendship immediately following the virtual encounter.

I think back on the days leading up to the official meeting and how hopeful I was to get the chance to meet this man, slightly concerned with my limited schedule and availability, but in the back of my mind I had decided it was priority. The funny things is that we hadn’t really talked in-depth about meeting or even made any tentative plans. I didn’t even know he was interested in me!

I honestly just found him intriguing and thought it would be good to make another friend back home.

DC captivated me, even in the moments we interacted leading up to that first hello. This post will be a bit of a confession to him even though he knows I had some interest, or at least more than I lead on to … or that he could hone in on 😉

This union continues to surprise me. He is perfect for me. Perfectly Perfect in so many ways. Ways in which I didn’t even realize I desired. Had I been asked what the perfect man for me consisted of, I doubt I could have described him, but now I am sure of what I want and DC hits all the marks!

Now if only I can survive just one more week till we are together again.

We have successfully made our Facebook friends nauseous with all the doting and lovey dovey message exchanges. I can’t even imagine how many people have muted me over these few weeks. 😀

Every day is one more day closer to our happily ever after …

June 22nd, 2012

Digitally Dating

For a long while this term has been used in conjunction with my online dating adventures, but more recently it has taken on new meaning as DC and I are engaging our long distance love affair with the use various online tools – email, Facebook, Skype, Google docs, even Pinterest!

How did such love affairs survive before there were internets!?

I can’t even imagine having to wait 2-3 days for a letter to send/arrive. My gawd the thought of it makes my heart ache for long distance lovers past. We are somewhat spoiled by the near instant gratification of these methods of communication … and eventually we might even go real time with texting and phone calls, which are currently a premium since *someone* doesn’t have a smart phone and unlimited text/talk time 😀

Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane,
Ain’t got time to take a fast train.
Lonely days are gone, I’m a-goin’ home,
‘Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter.

Well, she wrote me a letter
Said she couldn’t live without me no mo’.
Listen mister can’t you see I got to get back
To my baby once a-mo’–anyway…

-The Box Tops

June 21st, 2012

Warp Speed

warp speed
n. Informal
An extremely rapid speed or state of activity

It has been just over three weeks since DC and I met … and a mere seventeen days since our “first date” where we sat, staring all googly eyed across the table at each other and made the mutual decision to engage in a long distance relationship. Actually, we weren’t quite at the “relationship” stage just yet, but we agreed to see where things go.

Our Facebook status’ remain set at single, but not for long.  🙂

They say … when you meet the one you’ll know it. They also say when you aren’t expecting it the right one will come along. They are right and he is right. Unless I had the pleasure of experiencing this on my own, I would would have never truly believed it even though I have always tried to convince myself to.

Things are moving incredibly fast for DC and I. We are in warp speed with our relationship, which is primarily digital between monthly visitations. This is not a problem for us. We feel comfortable with the pace, discussions of relocating to be with each other, marriage, even children. Topics I did not expect to cross my thoughts for a very long time, if ever.

Our families are happy for us … I think they can tell how thrilled we are that we seemed to have lucked out and found our Happily Ever After.

As we spread the news to friends and acquaintances more often than not we encounter some disbelief, negativity and skepticism. Rightfully so, I think if someone told me they met a man on vacation three weeks ago, who lives nearly 300 miles away and now they are diving head first into a commitment, filling each others Facebook walls with less than threes, in constant exchange of virtual love letters, carrying on like teenagers … well, I’d think they were nuts!

I don’t expect anyone to understand what I feel for this man…  who nearly never leaves my mind, I am totally smitten for, growing to know so well, falling deeply in love with. It’s for my heart to decide what it wants and move at whatever pace it desires.

I’m just here enjoying the light show 🙂

June 13th, 2012

Rejection: Ripping the Bandaid

“Rejection is a part of life.  Everyone experiences it.  Everyone doles it out.  Accept it.  Learn from it.  And move on.” – Something She Dated: A How-To Guide to Rejection.

Funny that this post show up in my stream today.

When I recently met “DC” it was completely unplanned and totally unexpected. I was living high on the life of a single chick, in a new town, making all new friends and not having a care in the world about dating. That’s when they say it happens.

It happened and I want to be with him every day more than the last. I am growing to know him better and better and it feels right. I’m giving up my Single Status.

But back to the being Happily Single. Some may argue that I was less than concerned about dating thanks to long term non-commital casual relationships.

I don’t deny it. It’s my life and it’s what made me happy at the time, but I’ve decided to let that happiness go in exchange for something that just feels right and thus I am faced with having to issue a rejection.

I’ve been quite successful in the past with most opportunities to cut someone off, crush them, break hearts.

The shitty part is hurting someone’s feelings. Worse the closer you are, because you can’t help but care for them, after all if you didn’t you wouldn’t have kept them around.

That is why it was so amazing that this advice should appear in front of me like fate. The same fate that has brought DC and I together. The one I am following with an open heart and open mind.

“As for how to do it?  It’s still simple.  A text, a phonecall, an email.  While some people may get all crazy about the method of how something is done, the truth is they’re usually just hurt at being rejected (which is normal) and it’s less about the medium than the message.  So be thoughtful and kind but blunt.  Don’t send mixed messages, just be honest, you’re not into them.”

My medium is obvious. I’m truly sorry if you were expecting more from me or thinking what we had was going to last forever. It’s not, so I need to wish you all the best, but goodbye.

If you get this kind of rejection, it’s okay to feel hurt, that’s life.  It’s even okay to moan about it to your friends and throw a hissy fit in the privacy of your own home.  What you want to do is respond politely and rationally and keep the crazy to yourself because the truth is the hurt and anger will fade and you never know if that person will have taught you something or will have another role in your life.  Don’t burn your bridges like a crazed lunatic, eat some ice cream and get past it.”

Please go read all the other awesomeness of A How-To Guide to Rejection: Knowing How and When to Reject Someone (and how to react when it happens to you.

June 7th, 2012

Professionally Single

A label I acquired while on Vacation in New Hampshire recently.

Ironically it came from a man who is quite possibly going to take it away.

It was only a few weeks ago that I was happy as a clam to be single, living independently, thriving on community and my local social network. I was truly earning my Professionally Single accolade.

Enter Monkey Wrench …

So I’m on vacation, minding my own, when all of a sudden I meet this guy and every thing starts to change. Not like Werewolf in London … more like a whole new path opening up … a bright light at the end of a tunnel. I can almost see the future.

Maybe it had something to do with that whole Venus in transit thing?

Before we get too ahead of ourselves we are not quite at a “relationship status changing” stage, but it doesn’t feel far off. Even with our busy individual lives, nearly 300 miles between us and torturous periods of time between embraces.

I feel so lucky to part of this adventure  … and please excuse me if I gloat just a little 🙂

But now for the Big question. Can I still maintain a Professionally Single lifestyle and have a romantic interest? Or does one negate the other?

Would it be wrong of me to consider myself anything but single? After all, I am not married. I live alone. I pay all my own bills. I’m cooking and cleaning  and sole caretaker of two very needy furballs.

I’m just not “available”.

S/W/F