Login Subscribe Comments ContactMe AboutMe Home


June 10th, 2014

Once Upon a Time …

Frazzled MommyOnce Upon a Time … I was young and full of energy. I felt invincible. I spent an entire day in bed watching 90210. I had all the time in the world. I was career focused. I was single/married/divorced. I was debt free. My night started at 11pm by choice. I had no agenda. I slept in. I ate my entire meal in one sitting and I certainly didn’t have to share with anyone. I could have a phone conversation in peace. I never left the house without showering. I changed my clothes immediately upon discovering a spill/spot/rip. I went to the movies. I listened to loud music. I drove fast. I splurged on clothes, shoes. bag and many other non-necessities.

Now I’m a Mom.

I’m tired. Always tired. I fantasize about taking a nap – in the middle of the day – in my car – on the side of the road. I literally fell asleep at a stop light the other day, because I am THAT tired. I can’t remember what sleeping in feels like and given the opportunity to watch TV in bed all day, I think I would just fall asleep and drool all over my pillow.

Time expires before I can even count the days/hours/minutes and then I’m cramming to get the minimum completed before it’s completely gone. How can 30 minutes go by in a mere 5? I must be living in some hyper-speed vortex of life. Just last month I was 16 learning how to drive, a few weeks ago I was in college learning HTML and Java, last week I was starting my career, yesterday I was having a baby and today – today I am planning his 1st Birthday!

What I would give for just one day in my 20s. I’d sleep till noon, call up a friend and go shopping for a something I’ll only wear once. We’d skip dinner and head back to my place to get dolled up and go out dancing. There would be drinks and shots and we’d dance out young, energetic hearts out. We’d hit the local grease pit for coffee and some eggs and then roll into the house around 3am –ย  at which point I would realize the time and freak the F out because the baby will be up soon!

Maybe I’ll just settle for an early dinner and a movie.

I love being a mom and I absolutely LOVE my boy! Have you seen him? He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I miss him when he is sleeping. He exhausts me, but he gives me such a sense of pride and joy. I never knew I wanted this life until I started living it. Everything else is secondary to him. Work, sleep, showers, exercise, meals, arriving on time … he is my priority now.

I can’t believe he is almost 1.


September 30th, 2013

I’m “Your Mom”

So a funny thing happened just about three months ago … I became a MOM!


Mostly everyone on the interweb is fully aware of this little fact already, but I still feel the need for an official post. So here it it … 12 weeks and 4 days in the making.

Owen, the baby formerly known as Pickle,ย  was born on the 4th of July … immediately followed by a whirlwind summer of events, family visits and more importantly a crash course in parenting!

There have been many attempts to write this post, but if I’ve learned anything from parenthood it’s that my life is no longer mine to do with what I please, so in the true nature of my blogging career – I’m late.

It’s funny, but it still hasn’t fully sunk in for me yet. I keep thinking this is all just temporary … the diapers, bottles, 4am wake up when the little man decides it’s play time not sleep time … I’m just waiting to wake up and find myself back to reality.

Most days I run on autopilot. I guess deep down inside me my “mommy” programming lay dormant till it was activated by his first cry. I now know what a mother’s intuition is and strongly feel that no one can take care of my baby as well as me. I can hardly stand watching anyone else try to feed or burp him with the exception of a few.

But enough about me, let me gush a bit about my little boy!

Every mother thinks their baby is the cutest, but I honestly think mine is ๐Ÿ™‚ and I can certainly appreciate how cute other babies are, but they just aren’t quite as cute as mine lol

We’re just shy of 3 months old and he has grown so much from the 6lbs 12oz he was at birth … nearly doubled in size! He has grown so fast that I’m having to not only pack away all his newborn clothing but also his 0-3 and 3 month clothing too!!

And what’s the deal with baby clothing sizes anyway?

The most amazing part of my day is when he looks at me and out of nowhere gives me the biggest toothless grin. I absolutely adore him. He is my sunshine and I am thankful and honored everyday to be his mom.

Until I’m allowed my next post …. xoxo Diva

Special thanks goes out to my baby daddy, David. Without him I’d be living some other much less rewarding life I’m sure. I love you, I love us and I love our little family <3

June 19th, 2013

Bumpdate: Freak-out and Relax!

This may possibly be my last bump date before baby Pickle arrives. It’s been a crazy week in pregnancy-land.

Last Wednesday I went in to see my OB for a non-scheduled visit for fear that I had ruptured my bag of waters. There was all this fluid and while it didn’t seem as dramatic as my actual water breaking it sure did seem suspect. That wasn’t the case, but while I was there my blood pressure was really high. Certainly couldn’t have been related to the fact that I spent the day worried that this baby was planning his exit strategy 3 weeks early!

At my regularly scheduled appointment on Thursday my blood pressure was still elevated so I was told to keep an eye on it and come back in first thing on Monday morning, but I didn’t get that far. Friday afternoon I was feeling a little off. My heart was racing and my breath felt short. So after reading a bit about preeclampsia I decided I better call my Doctor who advised me to head on over to the Birthing Center and get checked out.

After several hours “hanging” in the hospital everything checked out normal. Baby was looking good, my oxygen was good, blood was good, urine was good. I headed home with some “homework” to spend the next 24 hours collecting urine and bed-rest for the weekend. So much for my plans to help DC paint the old house in preparation for new tenants moving in. Oh and the hoards of boxes in my living & dining rooms? Yah, still there.

Along comes Monday and I am back at the Doctors office. Blood pressure is still high so back to the Birthing center I go.

All the tests come back perfectly normal! What gives? I know Pickle isn’t trying to come early at this point because I haven’t even had the slightest contraction … and I had a talk with him about how once he comes out he wont be getting the direct feed of ice cream he’s been enjoying so much.

Another 24 hour urine collection … it’s a glamorous life I tell ya!

Yesterday we had an ultrasound to check fluids and measurements and all is well with those too, but at today’s follow up my blood pressure was still elevated; however lower than it had been. My doctor advised that at this point she believes I have Gestational Hypertension which could easily turn into preeclampsia so we discussed the possibility of induction.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. For the past 8 months all I have thought about was how I was going to really enjoy my last weeks of pregnancy. Weekends at the lake in my super cute maternity swim suit. Evenings exploring my new town and walks around my new neighborhood. Yet here I am faced with a possible eviction notice on my baby and as much as I can not wait to have him and hols him and give him all my love, well … it just feels so all of a sudden!

I truly thought I was going to be pregnant until mid-July!

Additionally, my due date has been reset back to it’s original date of July 2nd. All this time I was planning for the 7th but my current doctor feels that since the difference was less than 7 days they are going with the 2nd, which means instead of being just over 37 weeks I’m now 38 weeks and induction would happen at 39 weeks!!


And now relax because really I have no reason. I have everything I need to care for this little guy when he makes his debut, though I would rather it be on his terms and not being forced out of his warm and cozy belly-home. His room is ready. My hospital bag is packed. My diaper bag is packed. Clothes, sheets, blankets are all washed and ready. Our car seat is installed.

I just really wish I didn’t have all this clutter of unpacked boxes filled with things that seem so unessential to me right now. If you happen to know of any magic disappearing boxes fairies please send them my way!

Until my next post please keep your fingers crossed for us that we are able to wait out this delivery until Pickle decides it’s time!






June 4th, 2013

Bumpdate: The Home Stretch!

With only 5 more weeks to go until my due date of July 7th my to-do list is growing larger than my belly!

Last week we were able to get another sneak peek at our lil’ Pickle and this time he actually cooperated! He was quite busy sucking on his hands the whole time and at one point even mimicked a window licker on the side of my uterus. Let’s hope he was just being a clown and doesn’t actually behave this way on the outside!

Baby "Pickle" sucking on his hand.

It’s been 3 weeks now since moving into our new home and I am surrounded by boxes! We haven’t even moved all of my stuff in and already I am feeling very overwhelmed by it all. Thank goodness I have lots of loving friends in the area who have offered to help over the next couple weeks or I might just lock myself in the bathroom!

Baby’s room is top priority now and I am hoping to get a quick coat of paint up on the walls this week before assembling the crib. I think once that is done it will really start to feel real. Then I can focus on packing my hospital bag and diaper bags – the sooner the better I think since over the past week I have seen 4 early babies arrive! I’m trying not to freak out and I really feel like he is going to stay put till at least his due date since he seems to be happy in there.

Plus I told him when he comes out he won’t be getting yummy ice cream for quite some time! ๐Ÿ˜€

In other news I spent last weekend at the lake with my girlfriends for one last hoo-rah! We had the most amazing weather and spend the majority of our days floating in the water. It was so nice to have great weather on top of great company. Especially after getting rained out last year!

Lunch break by the lake. Just took a refreshing dip now drying in the sun #love

I can hardly imagine what next year will be like with babies at the lake! My dear friend, Heidi is due 11 days after me with a boy as well and our lake neighbor’s daughter is having her second. I am really looking forward to the next generation of swimmers ๐Ÿ™‚

Well, I better get back to work so I can wrap up on time. It’s a very special day for DC and I as today is the 1 year anniversary of our 1st date! Who’da thunk it a year ago that we would be starting our family by this time, but I am so happy and thankful we are and to have him in my life. It’s been a year of blessings and I can only hope that we continue to be so fortunate for years to come!


April 12th, 2013

Bumpdate: 3 Month Countdown!

So the other day one of the moms in my baby group tossed it out there that we only have 13 weeks to go till baby arrives … wait, WHAT!? How did that happen!? It was only a few weeks ago I was peeing on a stick and now I’m fast approaching the birthday of my little dude!

*Cue The Final Countdown*

So here’s the part of pregnancy when I can kick back and relax, enjoy this growing belly and not having to worry about counting calories (much). I can leisurely nest and prepare my home for baby’s big arrival. I can dive in to some good reads about new parenting, newborn care and what all to expect as a first time mom. I can pamper myself with pedicures and prenatal massages ….


My reality is that I am no where near relaxed. Nesting is a far off dream of mine that I fear may never come true! I can’t even focus enough to get though an ebook right now because my head is so cluttered with all the stuff looming over the arrival of this baby.

I’m staring at a brick wall. Just beyond it is a new home closer to family, friends and DC’s job as well as our eventual daycare center. Unfortunately, we are waiting to sign a lease on the home of our dreams and until we do so I can’t do much of anything that needs to be done. I am so torn up andย  anxious awaiting a green light to move forward so I can start to tackle all of the other items on my enormously huge to-do list … not to mention pack, move and unpack!

I’ve been scouring the internet for an alternative home, but every one that I have seen has a major safety issue or doesn’t accommodate our basic needs. It’s quite discouraging to say the least.

I’ve recently decided to change hospitals for my delivery, which means I also need to find a new OB to actually deliver the baby. Kinda late in the game to be making the switch, but I think it’s for the best. I’ll also need to register for birthing classes and such so I have some clue as to what the hell I am doing when it comes time to push. Oh and there is that little thing called a nursery that will need to be set up with a crib so baby has some where to sleep! These are just a few of the things that need to happen, but again … I’m stuck. Waiting.

I keep trying to tell myself it will all work out. Everything has for us thus far and everything will going forward. It just sucks that it is taking longer than I had hoped and these damned hormones are less than helpful!

I’m going to eat some ice cream and try not to think about my stress for 5 minutes. Wish me luck!