I’m not really sure where to begin with this posts…I just know it needs to be done. Every so often I reach a point where I am just totally burnt out. It’s not really due to any one thing in particular, but a combination of a lot of things…events and emotions that accumulate over time until finally I have to totally walk away and try to reassess myself, my goals, my life.
For the past two weeks my eyes have been very irritated and swollen, they itch, they water, they hurt. I’m thinking it’s either pink eye or I have become allergic to my cats. We’ll soon see as I am going to see a doctor tomorrow. Staring at the computer all day hasn’t been much help, but then I can’t avoid work if I want to get paid. This comes after my annual two weeks of flu/bronchitis, when I get to lay in bed till my bum is sore and want to rip my nose from my face. I struggled a lot with being sick…having a job that is done primarily from my home now, I felt like I couldn’t fully rest and found myself constantly thinking about work…in past years I haven’t had access to my work from home, so it hasn’t been an issue. I constantly worried about falling behind and not keeping up on tasks. This is one time when I felt that my laptop, which I sleep with regularly, was pure evil. The worst part being that as much as I wanted to be productive, my brain refused to function properly…doped up on cold meds and whatnot…so I’d often log in and just stare off into space not knowing what to do or where to begin.
On top of that, my personal life could really use some attention. I get so wrapped up with all things virtual, that sometimes my non-virtual life/person gets neglected. I know this is not good and I’m sure many of you don’t understand, but it happens. I continue to reach the end of my days and think to myself that I should have done this and that and tell myself – Tomorrow I will get up early, exercise, have a healthy breakfast, get fresh air, balance my checkbook, get the mail, clean the house….do all those things that need to be done and should take priority, but don’t.
Sitting here day in day out…constantly reassessing and prioritizing my to-do lists…thinking up and adding new tasks here and there and struggling to feel accomplished to the point where I can unplug at the end of a day and get to bed on time with out feeling like I have to do just one last thing.
I know I am not alone here. I know there are other people with more on their plate then me, but how do you possibly get it all done? Why do I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Do I just need to get a life? A Vacation? Take a walk? How can I make Me a priority over everything else, when I am such a habitual offender at putting everyone/everything else first
*sigh*
Okay…back to work now…I really just needed to vent. Please return to whatever it was you were doing and pardon this interruption.
Thursday, March 13th, 2008, 5:14 PM | 
Real Life | 
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