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Posts tagged ‘1st Date’

October 17th, 2010

Date Review: Space Invader

Last night I accepted an invitation to drinks with the guy I met through Chemistry last weekend. I was looking forward to getting out and enjoying a couple of beers with some good conversation.

I had already told this guy that I was not looking for anything right now and really wasn’t into dating, but figured there is no harm in meeting someone new. He’s local and going through a divorce so at least we had that in common.

I arrived at the bar and he had already been waiting.  I typically opt for meeting at a diner or restaurant … places where you are not seated closely or sitting right next to someone at a bar… and I came to realize pretty quickly that I am not a fan of this situation at all!

Strike one: Immediately he began resting his feet on my chair. This was my first feeling that my personal space was being invaded. Seriously, I think on a first meeting you should be extremely respectful of the other person’s space. I am not a closey-close kind of person right off the bat and this made an already uncomfortable situation even more so.

Strike two: Drilling me on what I like/dislike and trying to validate yourself with each answer. Do guys really think that this will convince me they are my perfect match? Maybe I should have just been raw and honest and broke him down piece by piece as to why I already knew I wasn’t feeling it?

Strike three: As if the foot on my chair isn’t enough invasion… please don’t rest your knee against me. We just met! There is no reason what so ever that any of your body should be touching mine. So back off and recognize that I am inching away every time to try this move. Not to mention I have totally turned my body away from you at this point.

Last and final strikes: Under no circumstance what so ever is it appropriate to grab a woman’s hand and hold on to it. This happened TWICE! The first time was early on and he wanted to see my wrist tattoo… ask me and I will be happy to give you a good view of it, but grabbing my hand and holding it is a major DON’T.

The second time he grabbed both my hands to look at my nails and just held on to them! WHAT THE HELL!? This was so inappropriate. I said “can I have my hand back??” and pulled away.

I wonder what the other people at the bar thought of us. I wonder how obvious it was that I was totally not feeling this guy. I wish someone had stepped in to save me.

So, in conclusion – the beer was excellent but the company was far too intrusive.  Not to mention our conversation consisted of what I like/dislike, his soon to be Ex Wife who still lives with him, and Cats. *yawn*

Maybe it’s just me? Are there any women out there who like this sort of behaviour?

April 21st, 2010

Dating Challenge

I still consider myself “new to the area” despite my 10+ years of residency. The thing is that even though I have been living here for years I haven’t had much social outlet or friends to familiarize me with all there is to do and see, so when it comes to dating I am kind of at a loss for suggestions on places to go and things to do.

To add to my frustration no guys within a 20 mile radius are interested in dating me, which poses more of a challenge when setting plans to meet a guy for coffee/drinks or even a casual lunch/dinner. I often wish I lived in a city where there are more options in a centralized area.

It stresses me out a little when faced with picking the spot, because most of the time the guy is coming from 30+ miles away and I feel inclined to make the location as easy as possible for him to find.

Since I am a huge Google fan-girl I recently decided to try something different. I Googled “Fun” from my phone’s google Maps app and discovered a few interesting results! From there I was able to navigate to a local spot of interest, which I had heard of many times but never really had an opportunity to visit. It just so happened I was a mere 7 miles away! Another great thing about Google Maps is that there were reviews and details of the locations built in so I could quickly get information on hours of operation, admission fees, etc.

So I will close with two things:
1. I want to know how you typically plan your dates… do you have a standard “go-to” spot or do you make different plans based on the person you are meeting up with?
2. I challenge you to Google your way through your next date! It turned out to be a really great day and I think we both had a nice time. I will definitely do it again!

As always Thanks for your feedback!

March 31st, 2010

The Execiution of a 1st Date

This seemed to be a popular topic of conversation on Twitter yesterday and I figure I would eventually get to it here anyway so what better time then now!?

The following are the steps which I would ideally like a guy to follow leading up to a first date. In some cases I have skipped over a step here and there or added in a few, but over all I think this is a fair and appropriate execution:

Step One: Guy finds interest in my profile (on one of the various sites I am a member of) and messages me with a competent and interesting introduction.

Step Two: I review Guy’s profile and in finding a mutual interest I message him back with general commentary on his profile or intro message.

Step Three: After a few exchanges, if the conversation is going well, I provide my personal email (note: I am not a fan of Instant Messaging or talking on the Phone right away, though I have made exceptions to this in some cases).

Step Four: Guy requests a meet up.

Step Five: I agree to meet Guy over coffee or a casual drink and provide my phone number so that we can discuss the arrangement.

Step Six: Meet Guy for Coffee/Drink, but keep it short and sweet. If all goes well we should agree to a 1st date before departing.

Step Seven: Our 1st Date. Nothing fancy – lunch or dinner at a casual spot will do. Maybe a cocktail or two and some witty banter.

Now, I’d prefer not to be asked to go out again while still on the 1st date. I think a guy should follow up the next day or shortly thereafter if he is interested. Plus, if I am no longer feeling him at the end of the date, it takes some pressure off me where I am likely to say yes to your face when I really mean No Thank You.

This is just me. I am sure many of you have your own plans of execution, right?

*Thanks to @eFlirtExpert and @TheWillEd for prompting this post with their Tweets!