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Posts tagged ‘Dating advice’

November 23rd, 2010

Put Your Best Face Forward

We’ve all heard the saying “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words” but when it comes to your online dating profile picture it can be worth so much more!

The difference between a good photo and a GREAT photo could be all it takes for that special someone to notice your profile. That’s the whole objective to online dating anyway, right? If you weren’t looking to get noticed, then why bother?

I’m an avid self-photo taker. I’m also fortunate enough to be pretty photogenic, so I’ve never really had much trouble attracting viewers to my profile. As a matter of fact a few months back while on vacation I snapped this picture when I was feeling a little fun and flirty.

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October 24th, 2010

Blown off the Market

I recently started talking to this guy on OKCupid. I haven’t been fully out there looking to date anyone right now, but I still check my online dating profiles about once a week to sort through new messages and chat with other members about online dating and such.

Well, this guy seemed interesting enough and so I pursued a first date. The plan was set and we were to meet for drinks on Thursday after work. It just so happened he wanted to meet at the same place I had just met that guy from Chemistry.com who turned out to be a total fail. This should have been the only sign I needed.

Thursday fell through. He got tied up with work and then in traffic and by the time he would have gotten there it would have been too late, so we pushed to possibly doing drinks on Friday. I don’t know if it would have actually happened or not but I ended up canceling on him thanks to some extreme stomach pains. . . Ice Cream and I are no longer friends.

So once again we rescheduled – this time Saturday Lunch. I got up and went to the gym early and started to get a little concerned as I hadn’t received a confirmation on what time we would be meeting. We exchanged a couple texts while I was at the gym, but no answer to what time. I got home from the gym, showered and started getting hungry. Still no reply. Getting blown off apparently.

Then I decided to text his work phone and he explained that he left his cell at home when he had an emergency at work he had to attend to. He seemed sincere and asked me if we could do dinner. I agreed and went on with my day, but once again I didn’t get a time to meet. . . I’m obviously not too great at date planning.

Dinner time rolls around and he is MIA. I decide to wait until 7 before totally giving up figuring he might have gotten caught up.  6:58 a text comes through – “Hey Cutie! Came home and fell asleep”.  That’s it. No other signs of life what so ever and another platinum member of the Douchebag Club is born!

So what have I learned from all of this?

As much as I wasn’t looking for anything super serious to come out of this 1st date, I am very sensitive to rejection.  This made me think about how I have made other people feel by rejecting them and I am really not feeling that scene right now.

One good thing that has come out of all of this is an opportunity to give it another go with a guy who I’ve been talking to for a few months now. I haven’t really given him the fairest shot, but he also has some things to work on if he wants to keep me hooked. Lucky for him I am good at bossing…err… giving direction….uhh….constructive criticism. :)

I hope he really is up for the challenge, cause I think we’ll make a pretty good team.

October 11th, 2010

Weekend of Chemistry

Dot com that is….

So, Last week I posted about signing up for the Free Communication Event at eHarmony.com. I stuck it out and did my best to “communicate” using their guided communication methods by exchanging canned question/answers with multiple “highly compatible matches” selected just for me… and just as I thought, I got no where.

Out of 40+ Matches provided I was unable to connect with a single solitary one! It’s was more like when you call an 800# in hopes of reaching a human, but the only option is to talk to a computer. Can’t say I didn’t try tho… computers need love too!

Well, on to my next effort…

This past weekend Chemistry.com held a free communication event as well. Three fun filled days of putting myself out there in hopes of reaching someone… anyone!

Chemistry’s sign up process was much simpler and more interesting than eHarmony. Much of the same picking canned answers, but they throw in a few visual challenges too, which I thought was fun.

Everyone is evaluated for a personality type and placed into one of their 4 defined types, which are:
The Builder – Social, Loyal and Dependable.
The Negotiator – Imaginative, empathetic, and nurturing.
The Explorer – Spontaneous,creative, and open-minded.
The Director – Decisive, focused, and independent.

They deemed me Builder/Director with Builder being my dominant personality type.

From there I receive my matches and of the initial ten I received I initiated communication with three different men who I found to be interesting. I had not expected to hear back from any of them given it was such a nice weekend and the brief window of opportunity I had to even make a connection.

The initial communication was a controlled method, similar to eHarmony’s but much more creative and fun. They give you game like ways to exchange/compare interests and open up the line of communication.

Surprisingly, one of the men I reached out to responded! He found an interest in my profile as well and we quickly jumped to the site’s email method of communication… something that did not seem available on eHarmony, but it’s possible I just missed that option within their site design.

We’ve now exchanged real email addresses, but I have informed him that I am not looking to seriously date any one right now with all the other things I am focused on in my life. I am open to making new friends and we live quite close to each other so we’ll see.

….and for now my little adventures in online dating have concluded.

August 2nd, 2010

Little Black Books

I was thinking about my contacts list the other day and how many “dead contacts” are sitting in my Google Contacts book (which I keep synced w/ my Blackberry Contacts) from guys who I have met online, in person and some I’ve even dated briefly and am no longer in contact with.

Where do the “dead contacts” go when they are no longer needed?

I’m sure someone out there has the magic method for keeping contacts current, while not losing data on those who have faded away per chance they reach out to you one day via drunk-dial/butt-dial… and you SO want to be sure to ignore the call/message!

So, you really can’t just go deleting them, right?

Assuming you are not the type of chick who can’t be trusted with a guys number after a split… One Twitter recommendation from The DatingRev was to place a “Z” in front of the person’s name so they get sorted down to the bottom of your contacts list. Kinda like out of sight, out of mind. Well, at least until they attempt to contact you… in which case you can promptly execute a big fat IGNORE!

‘Cause I’m sure we have all experienced the “OH Shit! I so didn’t mean to answer your call” moments at least once.

If anyone has any other ways to deal with the “dead contact” I’d love to hear it!!

June 22nd, 2010

Hard Limits

Tales from Relationship Land, by Kat Glimmer

Last night, the BF and I were discussing the standards we had set when considering suitors out there in the great, big, online dating world. The topic of “hard limits” was approached – you know, those absolute no-nos about someone that you weren’t generally willing to flex on. I’m not saying never-ever, but when I was negotiating my own post-marital wants and needs, I did come up with quite a few barriers I would most likely not ascend for a person. Today, I share with you five of my “hard limits” when it comes to dating.

1. No Smiling.
Hey look, I understand that you’re a big, tough guy. And perhaps, this is my most contradictory limit since I’m not much of a “smiler” either. But the fact is, smiling conveys warmth, comfort, and a sense of understanding. If you aren’t going to make the effort to put aside the machismo for the opportunity to show me your “softer” side, then I’m not terribly interested.

2. Starving Artist.
I respect everyone desires to pursue their dreams. I supported my Ex husbands for several years. And you know what? I’ve done my time. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t consider career changes or a return to education. But if, in your mid-30s , you wish to start a garage band or pursue your dream to become a tattoo artist, I think you’ll have to do it without me.

3. You’re In Love Your Classic Cars and Your Pit Bull.
I have no desire to compete with anything containing a carburetor or that could potentially chew my nose off.

4. Super Out-Doorsey.

I have the utmost respect for those who awake at 5am on a Saturday in the hopes of catching a great bike ride, grabbing their surf board to catch some waves, or decide they want to jump off perfectly good bridges attached to a bungee cord. However, while I’m hardly lazy or unambitious, I’m just not the go-getter type, and I’m OK with that.

5. Desperately Seeking Children
For a variety of personal and biological reasons, if you’re biological time clock is ticking and you’re seeking an oven for your buns, I would not make a good choice.

These are just a few of several I’ve worked out over the past two years.

What are your Hard Limits?