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Posts tagged ‘dating’

August 2nd, 2010

Little Black Books

I was thinking about my contacts list the other day and how many “dead contacts” are sitting in my Google Contacts book (which I keep synced w/ my Blackberry Contacts) from guys who I have met online, in person and some I’ve even dated briefly and am no longer in contact with.

Where do the “dead contacts” go when they are no longer needed?

I’m sure someone out there has the magic method for keeping contacts current, while not losing data on those who have faded away per chance they reach out to you one day via drunk-dial/butt-dial… and you SO want to be sure to ignore the call/message!

So, you really can’t just go deleting them, right?

Assuming you are not the type of chick who can’t be trusted with a guys number after a split… One Twitter recommendation from The DatingRev was to place a “Z” in front of the person’s name so they get sorted down to the bottom of your contacts list. Kinda like out of sight, out of mind. Well, at least until they attempt to contact you… in which case you can promptly execute a big fat IGNORE!

‘Cause I’m sure we have all experienced the “OH Shit! I so didn’t mean to answer your call” moments at least once.

If anyone has any other ways to deal with the “dead contact” I’d love to hear it!!

July 26th, 2010

Got Game?

I re-entered the dating pool about a year ago after ending a 15 year relationship and I’ve have no problems with meeting men online and dating as a result of it, but meeting guys offline??

I’ve got NO Game!

I guess I missed some valuable lessons in dating being all committed and monogamous for the majority of my adult life… and it’s not that I don’t know how to play the game, I am just naturally bad at it!

I’ve been told on many occasions that I have no game and  I don’t “look” available when I am out. I’ve never been the girl that guys approach in public and it’s an extreme rarity that a guy will offer to buy me a drink when I am out.

So, the other night I’m out with my two BFFs and this guy comes up beside me at the bar where I’m seated to order a couple beers. I moved to give him way and offered some help getting the bartender’s attention…warning him with a laugh that they often ignore me here.

He asked if he could get me something to drink. I guess the empty glass in front of me was a little pathetic, but I declined. It’s not that I didn’t want another drink or that he was unattractive in any way, but my natural response was “No Thank You”… WTF is wrong with me??

He asked me twice more and I continued to decline for no good reason at all.  All I could think of was getting out of there. In hindsight I realize that I was being completely foolish and it really wouldn’t have killed me to accept and have a conversation with this guy.

I guess this is just a habit I need to break. Some social defect I need to overcome. My brain still has some mentality of being unavailable and before I even had a chance to consider this guys offer I was cutting him off.

I seriously have no idea how to “get game” or if it can even be gotten, but I think I will put this on my wish list per chance any man ever approaches me in public again.

I welcome all suggestions… am I hopeless??

June 24th, 2010

All Talk, No Action

Okay, here is the deal guys. I’m a friendly, fun, attractive, single woman. I am out there and open to meeting new people… especially men, but lately it seems like you are all talk, and no action!

I refuse to spend my summer exchanging messages on some dating site just to find myself sitting home every weekend because not one of you guys who claim to be interested in me have bothered to ask me out!

What gives!?

I mean, just today I have received two DMs and one in-person compliment on my looks and questioning how I am still single.

Do I intimidate you!? Do I really have to make the 1st move? I just don’t get it.

So, rather then waste another moment of my life investing in messaging back and forth for no good reason I’m putting my dating profiles in a time out!

Do you hear me? Go to the corner and think about what you have done to me (and countess other women I’m sure) and then let me know when you are ready to step up and show me some ACTION!

/rant

This message has been brought to you by My Ongoing Frustrations with Dating and the letters W T and F!

June 15th, 2010

My Beef with Dating

After all these years of socially networking online and off, you would think I’d have an easier time with the whole Dating Game, but truth be told I despise it.

I’m not trying to be braggy here, because I’ve certainly had my fair share of rejection and blow offs, but more often then not I am faced with the one question I’ve grown to hate…

“Would you like to go out again some time?”

The truth is, Yes, I often would like to go out again with many of the men I’ve gone out on a first date with. They are generally nice, friendly, polite and interesting… some are even really funny, but the reality is that I am not interested in actually “dating” them… and truly how often do you play the “let’s be friends card” and actually remain friends?

So, this is my beef. How do I get past this?

I don’t want to hurt feelings, but I certainly don’t want to lead anyone on or completely blow them off either. I am such a chicken that when I’m asked to go out again at the end of a first date I can’t say no! Crazy, right?

Why do I feel the need to protect people’s feelings when for all I know maybe they are just being nice by asking me out again to protect mine and hope that I say no.

I wish there was a better process here. Maybe a score card or a series of questions following a first date to determine if both parties are actually interested in going out again.

Where is Chuck Wollery when you really need him???

April 28th, 2010

My Mother thinks I’m Gay

First I was undate-able, now I’m a Lesbian? Actually, she thinks my BFF Kat is the Lesbian and since birds of a feather flock together… I must be too!

She blames it on the “questionable content” of my blog and podcast. I am having some trouble putting together the connection, but apparently it’s enough to make my own Mother question my sexuality.

How does this affect my dating eligibility? I usually reserve much of my over sharing on the internet from the guys I am talking to until I know they are truly interested in me and can absorb that side of me with out losing interest.

I wont lie, I have considered switching teams more then once. I think every girl does at times in her life. For me it’s when I am discouraged with the dating scene and less than desirable prospects.

I’m not thoroughly convinced though. I mean based on the amount of male attention I get on the inter-webs and the majority of male audience of the (retired) podcast I can’t see what would give off such an impression.

Maybe I should poll my gay and lesbian friends and see what they think? Please give me some feed back on this, readers. I am curios about what kind of person my content is making me out to be!

And seriously?…I bet my Mother doesn’t even know any lesbians! LOL