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Posts tagged ‘Digitally Dating’

October 24th, 2010

Blown off the Market

I recently started talking to this guy on OKCupid. I haven’t been fully out there looking to date anyone right now, but I still check my online dating profiles about once a week to sort through new messages and chat with other members about online dating and such.

Well, this guy seemed interesting enough and so I pursued a first date. The plan was set and we were to meet for drinks on Thursday after work. It just so happened he wanted to meet at the same place I had just met that guy from Chemistry.com who turned out to be a total fail. This should have been the only sign I needed.

Thursday fell through. He got tied up with work and then in traffic and by the time he would have gotten there it would have been too late, so we pushed to possibly doing drinks on Friday. I don’t know if it would have actually happened or not but I ended up canceling on him thanks to some extreme stomach pains. . . Ice Cream and I are no longer friends.

So once again we rescheduled – this time Saturday Lunch. I got up and went to the gym early and started to get a little concerned as I hadn’t received a confirmation on what time we would be meeting. We exchanged a couple texts while I was at the gym, but no answer to what time. I got home from the gym, showered and started getting hungry. Still no reply. Getting blown off apparently.

Then I decided to text his work phone and he explained that he left his cell at home when he had an emergency at work he had to attend to. He seemed sincere and asked me if we could do dinner. I agreed and went on with my day, but once again I didn’t get a time to meet. . . I’m obviously not too great at date planning.

Dinner time rolls around and he is MIA. I decide to wait until 7 before totally giving up figuring he might have gotten caught up.  6:58 a text comes through – “Hey Cutie! Came home and fell asleep”.  That’s it. No other signs of life what so ever and another platinum member of the Douchebag Club is born!

So what have I learned from all of this?

As much as I wasn’t looking for anything super serious to come out of this 1st date, I am very sensitive to rejection.  This made me think about how I have made other people feel by rejecting them and I am really not feeling that scene right now.

One good thing that has come out of all of this is an opportunity to give it another go with a guy who I’ve been talking to for a few months now. I haven’t really given him the fairest shot, but he also has some things to work on if he wants to keep me hooked. Lucky for him I am good at bossing…err… giving direction….uhh….constructive criticism. :)

I hope he really is up for the challenge, cause I think we’ll make a pretty good team.

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October 11th, 2010

Weekend of Chemistry

Dot com that is….

So, Last week I posted about signing up for the Free Communication Event at eHarmony.com. I stuck it out and did my best to “communicate” using their guided communication methods by exchanging canned question/answers with multiple “highly compatible matches” selected just for me… and just as I thought, I got no where.

Out of 40+ Matches provided I was unable to connect with a single solitary one! It’s was more like when you call an 800# in hopes of reaching a human, but the only option is to talk to a computer. Can’t say I didn’t try tho… computers need love too!

Well, on to my next effort…

This past weekend Chemistry.com held a free communication event as well. Three fun filled days of putting myself out there in hopes of reaching someone… anyone!

Chemistry’s sign up process was much simpler and more interesting than eHarmony. Much of the same picking canned answers, but they throw in a few visual challenges too, which I thought was fun.

Everyone is evaluated for a personality type and placed into one of their 4 defined types, which are:
The Builder – Social, Loyal and Dependable.
The Negotiator – Imaginative, empathetic, and nurturing.
The Explorer – Spontaneous,creative, and open-minded.
The Director – Decisive, focused, and independent.

They deemed me Builder/Director with Builder being my dominant personality type.

From there I receive my matches and of the initial ten I received I initiated communication with three different men who I found to be interesting. I had not expected to hear back from any of them given it was such a nice weekend and the brief window of opportunity I had to even make a connection.

The initial communication was a controlled method, similar to eHarmony’s but much more creative and fun. They give you game like ways to exchange/compare interests and open up the line of communication.

Surprisingly, one of the men I reached out to responded! He found an interest in my profile as well and we quickly jumped to the site’s email method of communication… something that did not seem available on eHarmony, but it’s possible I just missed that option within their site design.

We’ve now exchanged real email addresses, but I have informed him that I am not looking to seriously date any one right now with all the other things I am focused on in my life. I am open to making new friends and we live quite close to each other so we’ll see.

….and for now my little adventures in online dating have concluded.

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment6 Comments »

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October 5th, 2010

Free or Phony Baloney?

Sunday night I caught a commercial for eHarmony’s free communication week event on TV. Sites like this often advertise Free trial weekends, but rarely a whole week so I figured what the heck!?

I had taken down my dating profile on OkCupid mid-summer and although I activated it again not too long ago I haven’t really been actively looking for a date. I never really took it seriously, but I log in to keep in touch with a few friends I have made and respond to messages as they are received.

So, even though dating is on the back burner for me while I am focused on my health and career I went ahead and signed up for eHarmony’s Free Communication week.

Right off the bat I wasn’t too keen on the process of creating an account. It took me about half an hour (between baking and laundry) to answer all their questions. I guess I am used to the free form profiles that the free sites have, but who knows… maybe there is a method to this madness? At least I wasn’t required to provide a credit card.

Once my profile questions were complete I went on to upload a few photos. Every step of the way being taunted with ad banners to “subscribe”. I was a little confused with the site design, but then I realized how to view my matches and was totally bummed out that I couldn’t actually view any photos on their profiled :(

So much for this I thought, but last night I decided to give it another go … it may have had something to do with the 15 or so new matches and a few questions that were sent by other members.

This time I used their Free iPhone app, which again took me a bit to figure out, but once I got going with it I was able to filter through the matches and came down to a few who were worthy of a message/reply.

Not so fast! Every time I tried to send a message or answer a questions I received I was redirected to a page to “Subscribe”!! Ugh. So Frustrating!! Fair enough a free trial without being able to see pictures or take advantage of all the site’s services, but how can I even TRY your communication methods?

I don’t get it. I will give it one more shot tonight and see if I can actually communicate with another member of eHarmony… and hopefully it’s not a member of their customer service team!

Phooey on Your Paid Dating Site!

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment1 Comment »

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August 2nd, 2010

Little Black Books

I was thinking about my contacts list the other day and how many “dead contacts” are sitting in my Google Contacts book (which I keep synced w/ my Blackberry Contacts) from guys who I have met online, in person and some I’ve even dated briefly and am no longer in contact with.

Where do the “dead contacts” go when they are no longer needed?

I’m sure someone out there has the magic method for keeping contacts current, while not losing data on those who have faded away per chance they reach out to you one day via drunk-dial/butt-dial… and you SO want to be sure to ignore the call/message!

So, you really can’t just go deleting them, right?

Assuming you are not the type of chick who can’t be trusted with a guys number after a split… One Twitter recommendation from The DatingRev was to place a “Z” in front of the person’s name so they get sorted down to the bottom of your contacts list. Kinda like out of sight, out of mind. Well, at least until they attempt to contact you… in which case you can promptly execute a big fat IGNORE!

‘Cause I’m sure we have all experienced the “OH Shit! I so didn’t mean to answer your call” moments at least once.

If anyone has any other ways to deal with the “dead contact” I’d love to hear it!!

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment1 Comment »

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July 26th, 2010

Got Game?

I re-entered the dating pool about a year ago after ending a 15 year relationship and I’ve have no problems with meeting men online and dating as a result of it, but meeting guys offline??

I’ve got NO Game!

I guess I missed some valuable lessons in dating being all committed and monogamous for the majority of my adult life… and it’s not that I don’t know how to play the game, I am just naturally bad at it!

I’ve been told on many occasions that I have no game and  I don’t “look” available when I am out. I’ve never been the girl that guys approach in public and it’s an extreme rarity that a guy will offer to buy me a drink when I am out.

So, the other night I’m out with my two BFFs and this guy comes up beside me at the bar where I’m seated to order a couple beers. I moved to give him way and offered some help getting the bartender’s attention…warning him with a laugh that they often ignore me here.

He asked if he could get me something to drink. I guess the empty glass in front of me was a little pathetic, but I declined. It’s not that I didn’t want another drink or that he was unattractive in any way, but my natural response was “No Thank You”… WTF is wrong with me??

He asked me twice more and I continued to decline for no good reason at all.  All I could think of was getting out of there. In hindsight I realize that I was being completely foolish and it really wouldn’t have killed me to accept and have a conversation with this guy.

I guess this is just a habit I need to break. Some social defect I need to overcome. My brain still has some mentality of being unavailable and before I even had a chance to consider this guys offer I was cutting him off.

I seriously have no idea how to “get game” or if it can even be gotten, but I think I will put this on my wish list per chance any man ever approaches me in public again.

I welcome all suggestions… am I hopeless??

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment2 Comments »

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