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Posts tagged ‘Digitally Diva’

April 6th, 2010

Dating Hiatus?

I was chatting with my GBFF (TheGuy) the other day about online dating and how every now and then it just gets boring.

I think we have both reached the same place mentally in regards to the amount of effort it takes to really keep active in the online dating scene and feeling like it’s just not a high priority in our lives right now.

Personally, I’ve been going through phases where I’m far from dedicated to searching the sites and responding to inquiries. I check in on occasion and do a mass clean outs of messaged, but most of the time it’s just brief replies with no real effort or interest in carrying a conversation.

Funny how this often happens after I have been talking to a guy for a bit and we meet; whether it’s a good date or bad. I am certainly not looking to find a love match over night, and in the most recent case I am still somewhat interested in getting to know the guy better (assuming he feels the same)…we’re still talking so it’s not like a total fail.

Is this the norm in the dating game? Just some typical highs and lows? Have I missed a disclaimer along the way that “Online dating may cause loss of interest after an extended period of time”?

Either way GBFF has given me some insight that life is too short to focus so much effort on finding a mate and it shouldn’t be forced. So, I’m thinking of taking a hiatus to let life happen naturally and focus on being happy in the now.

This may change in a day, a week or the next five minutes, but I am curious to know if other have these thoughts or grow bored with the dating scene from time to time?

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment2 Comments »

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April 5th, 2010

Morbid Monday

Happy Monday Morning Readers!

I’m sure you are all just dying to hear about my Date on Saturday, but I have another agenda in mind this morning. A little inspiration from my new friend and fellow blogger Skylar Smythe.

Yesterday was Easter and typically I spend the Holiday, as most do, with family. Dad makes Lamb and we sit around catching up over bloody mary’s, but this year was a little different. It was not only my first Easter single, but I was completely alone. Dad & Co. took off to Paris for vacation, my sister Lu Lu is with her boyfriend and his family and my mom lives 300+ miles away.

The “alone” part didn’t really bother me much despite being in this big empty house. I slept in (which was much needed after being out till 2 am), woke late morning and made a delicious brunch of my personal rendition of Eggs Benedict with grilled asparagus. As Nana would say … It was heavenly.

Mid-afternoon rolled around and I decided to put on some tunes and soak in a nice hot bath. It was so relaxing that I started to doze off a bit when it occurred to me that if should fall asleep in the bath, like I used to do quite often as a child, there would be no one checking in on me, no one to drain the water before I went under, and who knows how long it would be before someone actually noticed I was not around!?

Sure work would eventually be wondering why I hadn’t shown up, but really how long would it be before I was actually Missing? Do you ever stop to wonder of such?

I’m going to have to add this to the top of my list of reasons why being single kinda sucks. I’m really look forward to being able to soak in a tub to the point of relaxation where I can fall asleep with out worry I’ll drown myself.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday with less morbidness :)

CategoryDigitally Dating, Real Life | Comment2 Comments »

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April 2nd, 2010

Struggling with Myself

Like many women I constantly struggle with my self image and confidence level, which often takes a toll on my participation in the dating game.

There have been few times in my life that I look back on and feel like I was in great shape and confident, but honestly even then I had a bad self image. I always thought I was fat. So it’s no surprise now that I am twice the size and struggling.

I always tell guys that I am talking to online and interested in meeting that “I look better in pictures” and in my eyes I really do. I only put out those images in which I feel I look good, but in reality I am not so sure all the time.

This post is not meant to be a pity party, nor am I looking for a bunch of comments to boost my ego…I’m processing my thought publicly because this is what is on my mind…and I have a date tomorrow night.

I fear that I am not going to meet his expectations in person and that I am not going to be his type – body type. This is horrible and really, what do I care? So be it! No one is perfect, it’s who you are on the inside that counts, and all those things you hear that are supposed to make you feel better, right?

Meh.

From what I know of this guy he works out regularly and takes good care of his body. I’ve also learned a bit about the women in his past and this has me concerned because I know I can’t compete. It’s just not me.

I’m going to try and keep an open mind and not put too much pressure on myself about all of this, because I know I’m a fun chick, I’m cute, witty and I get along well with most everyone. I do have a lot to offer, but to be quite honest I’m not really sure I am looking to offer it all up right now.

Here’s hoping tomorrow brings the start of a new friendship at least and we can go from there!

I would like to know what my readers biggest hangups are in these pre-first date situations. I know I am not alone, so please feel free to share a bit in the comments!

Oh and P.S. if you read my previous post on The Execution of a First Date you may have picked up on the fact that I am skipping step Six :)

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment4 Comments »

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April 1st, 2010

Irrational Fear of the Phone

I have an irrational fear of phones…really it’s just talking on the phone. I spend most of my day at work on the phone so when I get home the last thing I want to do it talk on the phone.

Something funny that just occurred to me is that I also spend all day at work on the computer, yet on a typical evening when I get home the 1st thing I do is to fire up my laptop… but back to my phone phobia….

There are a few reasons why I am reserved about giving my phone number to guys I am chatting with online, but I would have to say the top three are:

#1. I have one of those “pleasant phone” voices… and when I am tired it gets raspy and moan-y … and well I think you get the picture. Until it has been established that you are a guy I am interested in meeting and we are making plans to, well – I prefer you not get a voice crush on me.
#2. It gets in the way of me being able to do the important things in my life like cook, wash dishes, vacuum, shower, talk to my cats, ect… and I am just no the kind of chick to walk around with a blue-tooth in her ear. If I can put you on speaker and chat while continuing to do other things then so be it, but I am a busy girl and sitting on the phone is not conducive to my lifestyle.
#3. One of these days my number will end up in the hands of some psycho phone stalker. I imagine they are like bill collectors but 10 times worse! I have yet to experience a crazy caller scenario (probably because I am so cautious about giving my number out) but I just know one of these days – WHAMMO! Time to change my Number!

A few months back I posted my thoughts on my other blog about Google Voice being a dater’s dream and I gotta tell you, if you are anything like me and the least bit weary about giving out your digits, then you just might need to get yourself a Google Voice account!

So tell me, readers – what are guidelines for giving your phone number out?

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment4 Comments »

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March 31st, 2010

The Execiution of a 1st Date

This seemed to be a popular topic of conversation on Twitter yesterday and I figure I would eventually get to it here anyway so what better time then now!?

The following are the steps which I would ideally like a guy to follow leading up to a first date. In some cases I have skipped over a step here and there or added in a few, but over all I think this is a fair and appropriate execution:

Step One: Guy finds interest in my profile (on one of the various sites I am a member of) and messages me with a competent and interesting introduction.

Step Two: I review Guy’s profile and in finding a mutual interest I message him back with general commentary on his profile or intro message.

Step Three: After a few exchanges, if the conversation is going well, I provide my personal email (note: I am not a fan of Instant Messaging or talking on the Phone right away, though I have made exceptions to this in some cases).

Step Four: Guy requests a meet up.

Step Five: I agree to meet Guy over coffee or a casual drink and provide my phone number so that we can discuss the arrangement.

Step Six: Meet Guy for Coffee/Drink, but keep it short and sweet. If all goes well we should agree to a 1st date before departing.

Step Seven: Our 1st Date. Nothing fancy – lunch or dinner at a casual spot will do. Maybe a cocktail or two and some witty banter.

Now, I’d prefer not to be asked to go out again while still on the 1st date. I think a guy should follow up the next day or shortly thereafter if he is interested. Plus, if I am no longer feeling him at the end of the date, it takes some pressure off me where I am likely to say yes to your face when I really mean No Thank You.

This is just me. I am sure many of you have your own plans of execution, right?

*Thanks to @eFlirtExpert and @TheWillEd for prompting this post with their Tweets!

CategoryDigitally Dating | Comment9 Comments »

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