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Posts tagged ‘Online Dating’

October 11th, 2010

Weekend of Chemistry

Dot com that is….

So, Last week I posted about signing up for the Free Communication Event at eHarmony.com. I stuck it out and did my best to “communicate” using their guided communication methods by exchanging canned question/answers with multiple “highly compatible matches” selected just for me… and just as I thought, I got no where.

Out of 40+ Matches provided I was unable to connect with a single solitary one! It’s was more like when you call an 800# in hopes of reaching a human, but the only option is to talk to a computer. Can’t say I didn’t try tho… computers need love too!

Well, on to my next effort…

This past weekend Chemistry.com held a free communication event as well. Three fun filled days of putting myself out there in hopes of reaching someone… anyone!

Chemistry’s sign up process was much simpler and more interesting than eHarmony. Much of the same picking canned answers, but they throw in a few visual challenges too, which I thought was fun.

Everyone is evaluated for a personality type and placed into one of their 4 defined types, which are:
The Builder – Social, Loyal and Dependable.
The Negotiator – Imaginative, empathetic, and nurturing.
The Explorer – Spontaneous,creative, and open-minded.
The Director – Decisive, focused, and independent.

They deemed me Builder/Director with Builder being my dominant personality type.

From there I receive my matches and of the initial ten I received I initiated communication with three different men who I found to be interesting. I had not expected to hear back from any of them given it was such a nice weekend and the brief window of opportunity I had to even make a connection.

The initial communication was a controlled method, similar to eHarmony’s but much more creative and fun. They give you game like ways to exchange/compare interests and open up the line of communication.

Surprisingly, one of the men I reached out to responded! He found an interest in my profile as well and we quickly jumped to the site’s email method of communication… something that did not seem available on eHarmony, but it’s possible I just missed that option within their site design.

We’ve now exchanged real email addresses, but I have informed him that I am not looking to seriously date any one right now with all the other things I am focused on in my life. I am open to making new friends and we live quite close to each other so we’ll see.

….and for now my little adventures in online dating have concluded.

October 5th, 2010

Free or Phony Baloney?

Sunday night I caught a commercial for eHarmony’s free communication week event on TV. Sites like this often advertise Free trial weekends, but rarely a whole week so I figured what the heck!?

I had taken down my dating profile on OkCupid mid-summer and although I activated it again not too long ago I haven’t really been actively looking for a date. I never really took it seriously, but I log in to keep in touch with a few friends I have made and respond to messages as they are received.

So, even though dating is on the back burner for me while I am focused on my health and career I went ahead and signed up for eHarmony’s Free Communication week.

Right off the bat I wasn’t too keen on the process of creating an account. It took me about half an hour (between baking and laundry) to answer all their questions. I guess I am used to the free form profiles that the free sites have, but who knows… maybe there is a method to this madness? At least I wasn’t required to provide a credit card.

Once my profile questions were complete I went on to upload a few photos. Every step of the way being taunted with ad banners to “subscribe”. I was a little confused with the site design, but then I realized how to view my matches and was totally bummed out that I couldn’t actually view any photos on their profiled :(

So much for this I thought, but last night I decided to give it another go … it may have had something to do with the 15 or so new matches and a few questions that were sent by other members.

This time I used their Free iPhone app, which again took me a bit to figure out, but once I got going with it I was able to filter through the matches and came down to a few who were worthy of a message/reply.

Not so fast! Every time I tried to send a message or answer a questions I received I was redirected to a page to “Subscribe”!! Ugh. So Frustrating!! Fair enough a free trial without being able to see pictures or take advantage of all the site’s services, but how can I even TRY your communication methods?

I don’t get it. I will give it one more shot tonight and see if I can actually communicate with another member of eHarmony… and hopefully it’s not a member of their customer service team!

Phooey on Your Paid Dating Site!

August 2nd, 2010

Little Black Books

I was thinking about my contacts list the other day and how many “dead contacts” are sitting in my Google Contacts book (which I keep synced w/ my Blackberry Contacts) from guys who I have met online, in person and some I’ve even dated briefly and am no longer in contact with.

Where do the “dead contacts” go when they are no longer needed?

I’m sure someone out there has the magic method for keeping contacts current, while not losing data on those who have faded away per chance they reach out to you one day via drunk-dial/butt-dial… and you SO want to be sure to ignore the call/message!

So, you really can’t just go deleting them, right?

Assuming you are not the type of chick who can’t be trusted with a guys number after a split… One Twitter recommendation from The DatingRev was to place a “Z” in front of the person’s name so they get sorted down to the bottom of your contacts list. Kinda like out of sight, out of mind. Well, at least until they attempt to contact you… in which case you can promptly execute a big fat IGNORE!

‘Cause I’m sure we have all experienced the “OH Shit! I so didn’t mean to answer your call” moments at least once.

If anyone has any other ways to deal with the “dead contact” I’d love to hear it!!

June 24th, 2010

All Talk, No Action

Okay, here is the deal guys. I’m a friendly, fun, attractive, single woman. I am out there and open to meeting new people… especially men, but lately it seems like you are all talk, and no action!

I refuse to spend my summer exchanging messages on some dating site just to find myself sitting home every weekend because not one of you guys who claim to be interested in me have bothered to ask me out!

What gives!?

I mean, just today I have received two DMs and one in-person compliment on my looks and questioning how I am still single.

Do I intimidate you!? Do I really have to make the 1st move? I just don’t get it.

So, rather then waste another moment of my life investing in messaging back and forth for no good reason I’m putting my dating profiles in a time out!

Do you hear me? Go to the corner and think about what you have done to me (and countess other women I’m sure) and then let me know when you are ready to step up and show me some ACTION!

/rant

This message has been brought to you by My Ongoing Frustrations with Dating and the letters W T and F!

June 22nd, 2010

Hard Limits

Tales from Relationship Land, by Kat Glimmer

Last night, the BF and I were discussing the standards we had set when considering suitors out there in the great, big, online dating world. The topic of “hard limits” was approached – you know, those absolute no-nos about someone that you weren’t generally willing to flex on. I’m not saying never-ever, but when I was negotiating my own post-marital wants and needs, I did come up with quite a few barriers I would most likely not ascend for a person. Today, I share with you five of my “hard limits” when it comes to dating.

1. No Smiling.
Hey look, I understand that you’re a big, tough guy. And perhaps, this is my most contradictory limit since I’m not much of a “smiler” either. But the fact is, smiling conveys warmth, comfort, and a sense of understanding. If you aren’t going to make the effort to put aside the machismo for the opportunity to show me your “softer” side, then I’m not terribly interested.

2. Starving Artist.
I respect everyone desires to pursue their dreams. I supported my Ex husbands for several years. And you know what? I’ve done my time. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t consider career changes or a return to education. But if, in your mid-30s , you wish to start a garage band or pursue your dream to become a tattoo artist, I think you’ll have to do it without me.

3. You’re In Love Your Classic Cars and Your Pit Bull.
I have no desire to compete with anything containing a carburetor or that could potentially chew my nose off.

4. Super Out-Doorsey.

I have the utmost respect for those who awake at 5am on a Saturday in the hopes of catching a great bike ride, grabbing their surf board to catch some waves, or decide they want to jump off perfectly good bridges attached to a bungee cord. However, while I’m hardly lazy or unambitious, I’m just not the go-getter type, and I’m OK with that.

5. Desperately Seeking Children
For a variety of personal and biological reasons, if you’re biological time clock is ticking and you’re seeking an oven for your buns, I would not make a good choice.

These are just a few of several I’ve worked out over the past two years.

What are your Hard Limits?